You are driving down the street and see the nicest convertible you have ever seen. Behind the wheel is a middle aged man, your first thought....midlife crisis.
Why do middle aged people do this?
- They buy the car when they can comfortably afford it? or
- They are going through a midlife crisis?
"It was never a formal diagnostic category," he says of the term midlife crisis. And the age at which midlife crisis strikes can vary, he says. When midlife occurs depends on whom you ask and partly on such factors as how long they expect to live.
A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s, he says.
By whatever term, the crisis or transition tends to occur around significant life events, he says, such as your youngest child finishing college, or a "zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're entering a new decade.
"The death of parents can be a marker, too, for these midlife events," Jones says.
Jones goes on to say that both men and women can experience a midlife crisis but they react differently. Men: the red sports car and Women: They tend to internalize it by evaluating themselves; mother, wife, person, etc. Men want a more prestigious position at work where women may want to enter the work force or go back to school. Let's face it, getting older in natural, what we do with that information may not be. I think a midlife crisis (that doesn't come from depression) is a healthy thing. Why do I say that doesn't come from severe depression? Well, some midlife crisis may come from someone who is severely depressed about getting older and they are doing everything they can to "stay young." This is extra marital affairs, buying the sports car you cannot afford, etc.
I think that most who go through the midlife crisis are finally in a position to "get it." We work hard all our lives, we raise our children, we live within a tight budget and suddenly we are in a position to live a little. Let's face it, children move out of the home and we suddenly have more money...imagine that. We have worked for twenty+ years and have set aside some money. The children are out of the house and we have more time to do what we want and not what the children need.
They healthy side of a midlife crisis is when we have always wanted that sports car and although in our early twenties we will sacrifice many things to have it, when we are older we can afford it without much sacrifice. Or we have always wanted to go back to school but we were busy with the kids and their school so there wasn't time or the energy to do this.
We go through phases as we get older. Who we are at twenty is not who we are at thirty which is often why we see many divorces happen to those in their thirty's. We change quite a bit in this decade. Now let's add another decade to our "discovery of ourselves." What we learn between 25 - 45 is immeasurable. We are a different person completely.
When a person goes through a midlife crisis that comes from depression major problems can come from the decisions they make. This can lead to extra marital affairs, over spending, divorce, quitting your job because you are no longer happy, etc.
When Midlife Crisis Turns Into Depression
Not everyone glides through their midlife transition that easily, of course, Jones says.
"In midlife, people need to be aware of symptoms of serious depression, such as:
- Change in eating habits
- Change in sleeping habits, fatigue
- Feelings of pessimism or hopelessness
- Restlessness, anxiety or irritability
- Feeling of guilt, helplessness or worthlessness
- Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, including sex and hobbies
- Thoughts of suicide or attempts at suicide
- Physical aches or pains such as headaches or gastrointestinal upset that don't respond to treatment"
As with all things a midlife crisis can be healthy or unhealthy. Make sure you understand depression vs. transition.
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